LCD Dating Services: Love... in a hurry

LCD Dating Services | Love... in a hurry | Join Today!

LCD Dating Services.

Because sometimes only the
Lowest Common Denominator will do.

You demand love, right now. Why go through the tedious process of getting to know someone before falling in love and getting married?

Our Mathematical screening process will match you with someone who fits your specific goals for a mate. Or at least someone who cares enough about being with YOU to misrepresent themselves. That kind of desperation is the perfect foundation for YOUR brief courtship and successful lifetime of marriage together.

LCD Dating Services has been manufacturing relationships since 2004, fostering over 25,000 successful marriages, many of which are still active, even today.

Guys, worse case save some time and effort. Just find a stripper, they're much hotter than the girls on this site. If you're planning a bachelor party, check our AlwaysPlatinum.com, these are the hottest female strippers in massachusetts.

LCD Dating Services Poll:

How much did you spend on your lover for Valentine's Day?

"Bitch charged me 20 bucks. Toothless Ho."
-Calvin,
South Main St. Worcester MA

"I had to hit up the clinic afterward and that shit cost plenty."
-Norma Jizzly, Oxford MA

"I sat around at Denny's all night and she never showed up."
-Stu Betcha, Worcester MA

"$300. Plus another $40 on my wife. Heh-heh."
-Walter Combs, Sturbridge MA

Coutroom UPDATE: LCD Dating Services found not liable; Ringleader Granny McDermalick and sons sentenced to 3 years in Westboro Baptist Church sodomy blackmail case;
LCD Dating Services has been cleared of wrongdoing in a blackmail scam in which 17 members of the controversial Westborough Baptist Church were bilked out of nearly $50,000. Granny would lure members of the Westboro Baptist Church onto dates using a popular web site for LCD Dating Services, with the promise of letting them fulfill their sordid sexual rape fantasies upon a defenseless old woman. Her sons would then enter the room and forcibly sodomize the men with broomsticks. | (View Article)

View Our Sexy Singles:

"Shee-it Baby, you gots what I be needin'? Lets hook it up."
-Calvin, South Main St. Worcester MA
Seeking: Attractive professional female ages 16-46, Income $50k-75k+, nonsmoker preferred.
Read My Profile

"I'm not asking for much here guys. Give me a ride to the bar and buy a few drinks, lets get to know each other a little better."
- Norma Jizzly, Oxford MA
Seeking: Free gin drinks and blow in exchange for passionate hookups behind some dive bar dumpster.
Read My Profile

FlowMazStar Muthafucka! "Yeah baby, I'll fuck you smoove. I got mad skills on the Mic and with the steel too. Your Punk-Ass Ex trippin'? I'll bust his skull. Recognize."
-FLoMasTar, Worcester MA
Seeking: A Hot-Assed Blood Gangsta Bitch who's ready to take a hurtin' on that ass.
Read My Profile

"I'm a real crack-you-up kinda guy. 'You don't gotta be fruity to be a carrot biter.' I got hundreds of lines like this at the ready, you see? You'll really dig it."
- Walter Combs, Sturbridge MA
Seeking: Pretty, Young Gal with an easy smile. Alcoholics OK
Read My Profile

"Bet your heart on me and I'll come up all Aces, Pretty Lady. I'm your King of Diamonds"
- Stu Betcha, Worcester MA
Seeking: Affluent Divorcee with large alimony checks who enjoys Indian Casinos and scratch tickets
Read My Profile

"Worn out your soul and soles in the search for love? Trek on no more Sugarplum. Your sweet Mama here for you now!"
- Anonymous, Homeless, MA
Seeking: Self-Employed man with a roof over his head, Cobbler or Shoe Salesman-type a plus, Disease Free
Read My Profile